its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
