you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
