it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
