As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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