It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
