Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
