some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize