I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
