I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
organizing the empties. That sober.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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