i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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