so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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