Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
