It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
