Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
