1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
