Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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