"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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