can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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