Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
