this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
