you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
