She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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