do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
