I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
