Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
