will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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