do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
