He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
