its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish you could order shots online.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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