I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
