Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
