Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
