You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
please come you make the beer taste better
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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