If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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