I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
