3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
