Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
