I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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