dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
