i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
