I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
