Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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