cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
