Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
