I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
