u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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