i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
