whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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