didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
