Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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