doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
