i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize