Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
